— rabatjoie

“Not butter? Then what the hell did I just eat?” Spread.

“I still say it’s butter” Spread.

“After all the damage you’ve done to this family with your habitual lying and deceit, you have the nerve to sit there with a straight face and tell me that this isn’t butter?” Spread.

“I’m pretty sure that was butter” Spread.

“I’m comfortable calling this butter” Spread.

“This challenges everything I’ve come to believe about butter” Spread.

“I’m not Entirely Sure it’s Edible” Spread.

“I’m willing to suspend disbelief about this being butter for about as long as it takes me to eat this toast” Spread.

“In the absence of actual butter, sure, I’ll play along” Spread.

“I guess you could call it butter. If you don’t put any in your mouth” Spread.

“From a distance, you’d swear it’s butter!” Spread.

“I can’t believe it’s so flammable” Spread.

“I have no reason to believe this isn’t butter” Spread.

“Am I wrong about God too?” Spread.

By Bob Shea

taken from McSweeney’s newsletter.

And the power’s out
in the heart of man

My film is not a movie.
My film is not about Vietnam.
It is Vietnam.
It’s what it was really like.
It was crazy.
And the way we made it was very much like the Americans were in Vietnam.
We were in the Jungle.
There were too many of us.
We had access to too much money,
too much equipment.
And litte by litte, we went insane.

Francis Ford Coppola, Cannes 1979

These domestic disasters are dynastic.

[ Ibid. ]

[ Click ]

For their own amusement, they had recently removed one letter from the firm’s and had made business cards with A.S.S. on them. They were chucklers, they were assholes. They called me The Turtle.
Then Turtle-Man.
Then Yertle.
Then Yentl. Then Lentil.
Finally they went back to Turtle.

Dave Eggers: How We Are Hungry

Well some people try to pick up girls
And get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and
So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole

Well the girls would turn the color
Of the avacado when he would drive
Down their street in his El Dorado
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not like you
Alright

Well he was only 5’3″
But girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not in New York

Oh well be not schmuck, be not abnoxious,
Be not bellbottom bummer or asshole
Remember the story of Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
Alright this is it

Some people try to pick up girls
And they get called an asshole
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and so
Pablo Picasso was never called…

The Modern Lovers – Pablo Picasso

Death to me and death to you
Tell me what else can we do die do
Death to all and death to each
Our own god-bottle s’within reach

Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy

To end an essay with a quote, as a sign of humility.

so picture yourself at the white horse
picture yourself among the beautiful
and picture yourself alive

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