Alternate names for « I can’t believe it’s not butter »
« Not butter? Then what the hell did I just eat? » Spread.
« I still say it’s butter » Spread.
« After all the damage you’ve done to this family with your habitual lying and deceit, you have the nerve to sit there with a straight face and tell me that this isn’t butter? » Spread.
« I’m pretty sure that was butter » Spread.
« I’m comfortable calling this butter » Spread.
« This challenges everything I’ve come to believe about butter » Spread.
« I’m not Entirely Sure it’s Edible » Spread.
« I’m willing to suspend disbelief about this being butter for about as long as it takes me to eat this toast » Spread.
« In the absence of actual butter, sure, I’ll play along » Spread.
« I guess you could call it butter. If you don’t put any in your mouth » Spread.
« From a distance, you’d swear it’s butter! » Spread.
« I can’t believe it’s so flammable » Spread.
« I have no reason to believe this isn’t butter » Spread.
« Am I wrong about God too? » Spread.
By Bob Shea
taken from McSweeney’s newsletter.